As you will have noticed, my post on Dr Peter Thraft was taken down and for several days my site has not been accessible for comments (I myself have been unable to access it at all; it's like being locked out of your apartment at three in the morning, and you're sure you can hear romantic groans coming from inside, but no matter how hard you knock, no matter how many times you check your pockets for the keys, you can't get back in). This was not, apparently, a Thraftian hack, but rather the host of this blog, Blogger, shut down the entire service and removed all posts written after a certain time on Wednesday. I have been intensely paranoid that Dr Peter Thraft, though a neophyte on "twotter", was actually a brilliant computer hacker and had found my blog, broken into it, stolen my post, and virtually pissed in my blog before making his escape; but it sounds like he is innocent of this, at least. My best guess is that Blogger, who runs these blogs, is used by Al Qaeda, and the CIA swooped in to take charge for a few days, sorting through reams of blogs about comedy, dog hair, whut-i-did-last-night, contemporary politics, and nineteenth-century battleship design in order to discover bin Laden's location. UPDATE: Apparently bin Laden was found? When? How didn't I hear about that? Now I get all those cartoons I posted about a few days ago.
Anyway, back to Dr Peter Thraft. My post is not yet back up; it may never go back up. That depends on Blogger. But having spent more time on Thraft's twotter account, I'm now beginning to think only in Thraftisms. I'm sure my significant other will be delighted to learn of this.
Look your partner in the eye and whisper sweet nothings before going to work.
Men, remember, the withdrawal method only works if you withdraw b4 ejaculation.
Orgies can be beautiful, but only when everybody sticks to agreed-upon boundaries.
Elizabethans called it the little death, the French Le Petit Mort. Kill your partner tonight.